Never Back Down: Remembering Alex Popeck Three Years Later

WARNING: This is a lengthy post, so please feel free to make yourself a cup of coffee and stay a while. 
Three years ago, I was asked to write down my memories of someone who had recently passed away. Today, I find the strength to do just that. Bart, this one is for you.

On this date, January 7th, 2011, I lost a friend who had become dear to me in the time I knew him. 
Alex Popeck, born September 28th 1993, was a man with great character, individuality and strength. A runner at Sherwood High, Alex devoted his time not only for himself to improve, but for others as well. His impact on the entire Olney community was so tremendous, that once word got out of his accident, many local businesses changed their signs in respect for Alex and his recovery. What he will be remembered for most is his motto: "Never Back Down". 
This is how I knew Alex.
Summer, 2010
I met Alex in August of 2010, when we both attended Concord Retreat Running Camp in Yellow Springs, West Virginia. This was my first year at the camp, and on the first day we happened to be in the same group for the week. I will never forget his humor and his spirit, it was evident in every interaction he had with anyone. 
Early in the week, we had a relay race which involved a multitude of activities. My part in the race was the volleyball serve. Once I made the serve in the correct circle, I was to run to Alex and tap his hand so he could start crab-walking to the next station. Despite my skilled abilities in serving, I failed on the first few attempts, but after hearing Alex telling me to hit the ball underhandedly, I succeeded and ran to him to continue in the race. Eventually we got second overall. Not too bad.
As the week of running went by, so did the events. One of my favorite events was the talent show skits, where my group members Will, Josh and I got in a trash can filled with ice and water (ice baths!) and performed the song "Wonderwall" by Oasis. In my experience, I could not sing the song with a serious tone because Alex was assigned our "obsessed fan" of the skit, and he was being super obnoxious (getting into his role of course) and ultimately the star of the show. Our assigned "bodyguard" of the skit escorted him out when he got a little too crazy, adding more to the hilarity of the skit. The rest of it was singing and serenading one of the coaches as Alex observes from the back of the room.
The video below (not sure if you can see it) is the video of our Ice Bath skit, and is currently the only video/picture I have with Alex. He is the guy sitting in the front that throws the shirt and says "I love you!"  Inevitably the shirt hit me in the face, just an FYI:
Ice Bath Skit
Another fun memory was the Concord Idol night, in which our group did an interpretive dance to the Backstreet Boys's "I Want it That Way". Unfortunately there was no video of the performance, but it was a fun dance in which ended in the males throwing baby powder in the air. Our group won the week-long competition combining all events, and Alex was a huge contribution to our successes.

Fall 2010
After camp ended, the next time I would see him would be at the Magruder Invitational cross-country race that fall. Being one of the first races of the season, I was cheering on my teammates finishing the last one-hundred meters in the Varsity race. Then, out of nowhere, Alex comes tagging behind one of my teammates. I had no clue he was that fast! The more results I'd seen on MoCorunning.com, the more Alexs name appeared. Dang, I thought. This was someone who fought.
November was a wonderful month that year. I got to know Alex more; seeing him at the region championship meet and also at a post-season race called Border War, held on my home course. When a friend of mine and I started the post-race dance (would you expect less from me?), a bunch of others joined in, including Alex. Not only did he have his humor, courage and athleticism, but he was confident enough to get out there and bust a move. Even if the dance only lasted fifteen minutes.
November 29th was the day I went with Magruder's cross-country team to Long Island for the Footlocker Northeast Regional Championship race and he went with his team to Cary, North Carolina for the Nike Cross Regional Championship. We had texted all day, including at the end of the race and on the way home. He was upset about his race he had earlier that day, and I told him not to worry because it was the end of the season. I reminded him that he still had more races to come, and that he could still makeup for it the next year if he decided to go. Alex told me he appreciated what I said and thanked me. Looking back on it now, a true friendship is found when the other person respects what you have to say, and I will never take that for granted.

December, 2010
The last time I saw Alex was at an indoor track meet on December 4th 2010. He was recording splits for his other teammates at the time. I decided to join him in watching the races. My mind was in a different place due to an argument I was having with another friend, but afterwards I still tried to engage myself in conversation with Alex as he was helping his team.
At the end of the meet, I found myself talking to Alex and Jackson, his best friend who also ran for Sherwood. As I was leaving I hugged Jackson and then hugged Alex. In his ear, I told him that I had surprising news to tell him at a later point. He nodded and I left. It was news that I started a relationship with someone we both knew. Alex was happy to hear the news, as he always was. The fact that I could confide in him was something I treasured as time went on. 
The night of December 11th, 2010, I was at a holiday party with some family friends when Alex and I texted briefly. I was watching the movie UP and I was telling him how the movie always made me cry. That was the last thing we talked about that night. The conversation dwindled so I stopped responding. Little did I know, I would not have a chance to speak to him again after the night ended.
December 12th, 2010
I did not find out about what happened until later that evening. Upon returning home from my at-the-time boyfriend's house, I checked Facebook and saw many friends writing well wishes on Alex's wall. My mind started racing and I didn't know what was going on. 
After a lengthy investigation, I learned that earlier that morning, Alex was driving teammates to a basketball practice. Around 10AM, Alex was following Jackson's car to the practice when suddenly, Alex's car accidentally hit some wet grass. He spun out of control and the car hit a tree on the driver's side. Two of his teammates suffered minor injuries, but sadly the impact took a huge toll on Alex, placing him under a coma.
I was distraught.  This was unlike anything I've ever dealt with before. Of course, there were people I've known that have been in car wrecks before, the only difference was those people usually died on impact. Alex was different. He was rushed to the intensive care unit of a hospital downtown. Comatose.
Denial 
The following three weeks after the accident were rough for me. School, track and social interactions were made difficult for the rest of the month. In choir, we would start looking at new songs, and for some reason they all reminded me of Alex and his struggle. I left the classroom multiple times, trying to wait until I got to a small practice room before breaking down. 
I was losing it. Because all I could think about was Alex and why this was happening to him. This was someone I just started to become close with, why me? Why Alex? 
Soon, Alex's father started making posts from Alex's Facebook account and soon informed the public about a CaringBridge.org page dedicated for donations and well wishes. Additionally, the site would notify followers when updates would be posted on Alex's condition. 
Needless to say, I eyed that page like a hawk. Whenever I'd get an email update, I would leave class to go to the bathroom, but go to the media center instead to look at what was the newest development. I was bending over backwards to calm myself down from everything that was happening. Soon enough, I was even collecting donations from my high school to donate to the parents. I collected a little over $35.00 and I met with the father at a prayer service and gave him the money. This helped me with my sanity but this did not mean my work was done.
I changed my Facebook profile picture to a picture of Alex. Sure enough, people started to do the same thing. Even Kevin Milsted, creator of MoCorunning.com, joined in and asked me if we could create an event on the date of the upcoming track meet (December 22nd) called "Change your Profile Pic to Alex Popeck Day". I quickly agreed and saw the many pictures of Alex displayed on many profiles.
In this time, the runner community got together. I saw writing on people's arms, with the quote that had been under his Facebook profile picture: "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and watch the world wonder how you did it." Eventually, I found myself doing the same thing. His team was among the strongest out of everyone. Even though they had a teammate going through all of this, they raced like cars to win races. Soon I started to befriend these teammates and reunite with camp friends in response to the incident.  
And then, I heard about an ongoing phrase Alex used to say. "Never back down." I thought, what a perfect phrase to describe Alex's attitude. He really never backed down from anything that I could remember.
Despite everything that was happening, I had renewed hope. Nothing could stop me now.
Hospital Visit
As soon as it was allowed, I requested that I visit Alex in the ICU. After the confirmation from Mr. Popeck, my mom took me to the Washington Hospital Center to check on him. Upon entering the room, I took in everything. There he was, sitting motionless in his bed, with his mother, brother, father and best friend Jackson all around him. There was nowhere to stand; the floors had been piled with cards, gifts, balloons and other items of warmth. I could immediately sense the outpour of love from several people who cared about him.
We stayed a good thirty minutes, discussing everything that had been going on. His injuries were all healed, not a physical wound in sight. The issue was his brain, nothing was clicking. I tried holding his hand, and for a moment, I could have sworn I felt a slight grip back. This could have been a non-responsive cue but it gave me a glimmer of hope. Before I left, I kissed Alex on the forehead. Who knew when or if I would see him again?
January 2nd, 2011
With the New Year under my belt, I yearned for more hope. Something to push through to the finish line. I wanted answers, but just the good answers. There could be no negative curve, right? His wounds were healed, his activity was becoming more regular. It was only uphill from there.
I mean, three weeks passed since the accident. Alex did not just give in immediately, he fought. I was amazed at his recovery going so well. At least that is what I thought.
Alex's father made a post about Alex. It started off strong, but then I found myself broken when I read the words "remains in very deep coma...cannot be repaired...will not come out of his coma..." 
All this progress, and yet he was so far behind? I could not bear it. Accepting that someone will not make it never gets easy. As a friend, I wanted to find any way to wake him up. 
But what?
January 7th, 2011
The day went by very slow. I endured a tough track workout earlier in the day, and I was preparing to go to my father's house. Will, Josh and I, the Ice Bath skit trio, were planning a day over the weekend to visit Alex and perform the songs we sang at camp together. If anything, maybe Alex could hear it.
I checked the CaringBridge website for the latest update. This one was the deal-breaker.
Nothing more could be done. Alex Popeck passed away peacefully with his family by his side. I wept for them, I couldn't imagine losing a son, brother or family member in general.
But I was not imagining, this was real life. I lost a friend.
Coping
The days, weeks and months passed. In this time, I attended the Shiva service, funeral service and more fundraisers to support Alex's family. Additionally, the family founded the Alex Popeck Never Back Down Foundation, a program that gives scholarships to Montgomery County High School seniors who display the drive, generosity and "Never Back Down" motto that Alex adopted in his own life.  At the end of June that year, Alex's Run debuted. A 5k in Olney, MD, the proceeds went to the foundation and brought in many participants in its first year. Alex's family made a speech prior to the start of the race, and at the right moment, each individual on the field who held a blue balloon let it go into the sky. The sight of all of the balloons in the air is something I will never forget.

In September, the Golf outing also debuted as well. I could never participate since I would be at school at that time, but combined with the 5k and the many fundraisers, I think it would be a fun event to attend sometime.
Afterward
If you told me 4 summers ago that I would meet one of my best friends at a running camp in the middle of nowhere, I would have laughed in your face. Now I am so glad I attended that camp. What Alex showed me is the ability to be non-judgemental with anyone you meet. Every single person has a story, and Alex was a genuine human being who not only fought when it came time, but gave all of himself to his family, friends team and the people of Montgomery County.
Something I promised myself I would start doing: taking more pictures. I take pictures like it's nobody's business. This is not because I am fearful they will leave this world soon, but more importantly because I want to capture the memories. When I look back on things I've done in the past and friendships I've made, the pictures tell the story. This is a still from the ice bath video that I edited a while back. It is really grainy, but you can see a vivid silhouette, smiling.

Following the events in early January, I made a slideshow of pictures for anyone to reflect on Alex and the person he was. You can view the video below.


As of now I don't run on a team anymore however, I know that I'm not alone when I run. Alex is always there to guide me every step of the way. I try to live my life how he lived his, leading when things got rough or helping when someone just needed a boost of confidence. Either way, I strive to improve upon myself each and every day. 
It's simple. Never Back Down.

I love you Alex. Rest easy.
Thank you for reading.