Something I Need to Get Off My Chest
Okay.
So I need to just rant for a second.
Please raise your hand if you are a child of divorce.
(patiently waits for people to raise hands)
Okay, so about half of you is that right? Half of you can empathize with me for a moment.
Tonight my mom at dinner told me that there was a Facebook post she saw a few years ago which caught her eye. It was a post depicting a courtroom setting, with a judge dealing with two people who were either getting a divorce or already divorced. She spoke out loud with this loose statement that a divorce has nothing to do with the kids. What she said next can be argued:
"Don't be upset with the children; they are half of you and half of the other parent."
What.
Okay, biologically that is true. Genetically speaking, 50% of each parent's sex cells mesh together and create a zygote. So yes, half of each parent is in the child. I get that.
What my mother explained to me tonight opened my eyes. She disagrees with the statement the judge said. Why?
Because there are children that psychologically exhibit more of one parent than the other.
This is not the case with every child however; I can say that most (if not all) of my properties are attributed to my mother. Especially my good looks ;)
Ha. Haha.
But all kidding aside, I totally agree with her. Growing up I could clearly see that she was more like my grandmother than my grandfather.
I used to believe that quote in the picture when I was younger. Somehow I thought that I would exhibit half of the traits of my mom and dad equally by the time I was an adult. But this is not the case. Besides blood, I'm not entirely sure my traits come from both parents in a reciprocated manner.
Don't get me wrong, I love my father. There are just much more similarities with my mother and me than my father and me. Does that mean I have to love my mother over my father? Not necessarily.
The main point I'm trying to get at is that no matter what beliefs of equal parent genetics exist, I firmly believe that this does not apply to everyone. And if it does apply to you, fantastic! You get the best of both worlds. For me? Eh, not so much.
No I am not a professional in psychology; I am merely speaking from the "family of divorce" perspective, so forgive me if I seem a little biased. But I'll be honest, I am glad the way I turned out. I have certain qualities of both parents, but I can say I relate much more to my mother than my father. Maybe it's because she was the main parent who raised me my entire life?
Then again, there are those stories of children who live with Parent A but react to a situation just like Parent B. My sister and I can have two very different viewpoints on a topic or event, but this could also be the fact that we are not the same age, nor have be been brought up with the same social surroundings (or people).
As far as I know, it can go either way. I understand that everyone has a different family story, so I apologize if I'm being more open than I should.
From my biology, I am a part of both my mom and dad. But because I am a child of divorced parents, could it be the environment that I was raised in which influenced how I go about life and make important decisions?
As I end my rant, I would like to conclude with my overall thoughts summed up in a sentence:
I'll never forget where I come from, but it is where I'm heading that is up to me.
Peace.
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